Wal-Mart Redux

I posted on my site a few months back a rant in support of Wal-Mart. At the time, I felt squeezed by the anti-Wal-Mart forces that, to my dismay, always looked down on low prices. Always.

However, after visiting Wal-Marts in the Pittsburgh area a good ten times or so, I can say unequivocally that the place is a fucking shelter for squatters, hobos, and hurricane refugees. Few people there have teeth. Those who do use those teeth to grow to 400 lbs. They then scoot around the Wal-Mart emitting the odor of decadent failure. Most of Wal-Mart's "clientele" wear hunting gear to Wal-Mart. Many people have aged quite badly. Bald twenty-year-olds mingle with war veterans and children with massive head wounds. This is the America that only a sadist could love. The leftovers of society. The part of the bell curve inhabited only by retarded Jews and Asians. These are a God-fearing people. But, fuck, if I were God, I'd fear them. They gleefully stroll the aisles filling catheter bags, humming toothless hums, and rubbing their tumors. Who needs to fly to India when the slums of Bangalore are a twenty-minute drive away?

By contrast, Target has reasonably fucked-up people. Junkies who haven't tried to inject heroin into their scrotums. Women who are sure that one of two guys is their babby-daddy. Hicks that don't shoot endangered species. Guys who have beaten, but not battered their wives. Women who charge paper money for their bodies. Sex offenders who actually took the care to register.

Target is also well-lit and clean. Wal-Mart is a sprawling cesspool of crap. I know that many trash on the low prices that cut other places out of business. But you really have to swallow your dignity to walk into a Wal-Mart. The products are of shoddy quality, the drive is long, the lines are long, and you spend the rest of your waking hours avoiding the "customers" that you now share a roof with. It's like having sex with a homeless person. Sure, it's easy, it's cheap, but Why?!!!!